Sanrio's Sinister Side. Also, Some Hello Kitty.

Sometimes, you need whimsy to get you through the day. Fortunately, Sanrio products are scientifically proven to contain at least 98.9999% whimsy. The other 1% is generally pink dye. What you may not know, though, is for all their kawaii-ness, Sanrio characters also have mysterious agendas, unspoken rivalries, and terrifying powers. Except for Hello Kitty. She's just cute. So we'll start with her.



First, you think, this seems a bit serious for a Hello Kitty product. But this is part of its charm. It is cute, as it were, on the DL. Literally.



See? Surprise cute! $69 at Sanrio.



Now let's talk about Chococat. Chococat is HK's brown nemesis. Or friend. Possibly frenemy? It's not clear. Like Hello Kitty, Chococat has no mouth. Also like HK, Chococat has mad cool products. What you are looking at above is a spiral notebook. You are unimpressed? Prepare yourself.



Bam! ...it's okay. You didn't know the Paralyzing Cuteness that awaited you within. I'll wait patiently while you gather together the shreds of your mind. By the way, this notebook is $5.75 at Sanrio.



This item represents the other cat of the Sanrio family. Charmmy Kitty is, according to the Sanrio website, "a white persian cat that Papa gave to Hello Kitty as a gift." Papa (sugar daddy? actual daddy? cat or human?) gave a cat to a cat. It's all a little meta. Charmmy Kitty likes lace, bedazzling, and apparently, the letter M. This is the "Charmmy Kitty School Pack: Cosmetics". It is $12.50. It contains absolutely no cosmetics and nothing of a remotely cosmetic nature. This whole "cat for a cat" thing and this puzzlingly titled product hint that Sanrio is toying with us, or perhaps that Sanrio is questioning the very nature of reality.



My Melody is a rabbit wearing a hot pink rabbit-head-shaped hat. Or at least this is what Sanrio would like you to believe. Knowing what we know about Charmmy Kitty, I think we have to assume that My Melody may actually be some kind of double agent, perhaps from a different species altogether. Has anyone ever seen under the hat? I rest my case. This mug, which features My Melody's cast of friends (or victims), is a reasonable $17.



This is Kuromi. She is "My Melody's friendly rival." For some reason, Sanrio provides us with the information that she is "hooked on romantic short-stories" and that her "favorite food is shallots." Please note she has a devil tail. I also think she may be the only Sanrio character with visible teeth. I don't like any of her products, but props to Sanrio for being willing to explore the dark underbelly of cuteness. That harlequin collar is genuinely creepy.

I hope we've all learned something today. Namely, that you should buy the whole Sanrio product line, but also that you should beware. We're not sure of what, so our advice here at Windowshoppist is just to beware in general. Maybe of choking hazards? Or just of shallot-eating rabbit impersonators with diamond-shaped ears.

Red & Pink Argyle Umbrella ($10)

This is Shoppista's latest lust object. She so does not need another umbrella, but... the red and pink together! The argyle! It is very tempting.

From Old Navy.

Vintage Postmark Buttons ($2.50)

I can conceive of no earthly use for these buttons, and want them desperately anyway.

Buy here
From Donovan Beeson.

Pale Pink Rose Feather Hair Fascinator ($22)

Ooh la la! Quelle magnifique! I have no idea if either of those things are really French! But seriously, don't you want this hair thingie?

Buy here
From Batcakes! Couture.

Green Flower Cowl ($29)

This is perfect for March, when you feel like it should be spring and you want to think about spring (thus the little crocheted flower) but you really still need something warm, because it's not quite spring yet, except in your dreams.

Buy here
From PhylPhil

Vintage Floral Half Aprons ($13)

Two frilly half-aprons! Indulge your Donna Reed fantasy (or just keep cake batter off your favorite pants).

Buy here
From In With The Old

Pink Petals On Brown Clutch ($55)

Winter to spring, all in one clutch with clever color combos. Silk lining, too.

Buy here
From Shakuyaku.

Hand-holding Mittens ($30)

They're called smittens, of course. From Target.

Merona Pink & Navy Silk Scarf ($20)

Having seen this scarf in person (what, do you think Shoppista is a shut-in? Shoppista spends a lot of time at Le Target), I can say for sure the pictures don't do justice to its gorgeous vintage-y print. Buy here.

Rolf Sachs Fortis "IQ" Watch ($1500)

No, that price is not a typo. This is what I would call an "aspirational object." Should I ever have $1,500 lying around that I just did not know what to do with*, I would buy this watch. Great for: teachers with rich friends. From World Lux.

*Note: this will never happen.

White Orchid Cashmere Scarf / Shawl ($80)

This works as a very ornate scarf or as a wrap over some devastating dress. Crochet: obvsly not just for grannies anymore.

Buy here
From Trendy Knitting.

Vintage Celluloid Floral Brooch ($17)

If I thought in this or any other lifetime I could pull off a brooch, I would have already bought this. Love it.

Buy here
From Anna Made It Designs.

Hand-Printed Cotton Ribbon ($10)

Sometimes it's nice to pay attention to the little things in life.

Buy here
From LeiLiLaLoo.

Holly And Ivy Hair Comb Accessory ($25)

Turn yourself or maybe a small friend into a solstice nymph with this gorgeous handmade hair accessory.

Buy here
From Which Goose.

Aluminum Business Card Case ($3)

Good design: sleek, sensible, and very good at its job. Holds up to 15 cards. From CB2.

Opinel Beechwood Folding Knife ($13)

These carbon-steel knives have been made in France exactly the same way for over 100 years. They were included in the Victoria and Albert Museum's Good Design Guide and are exhibited at New York's Modern Museum of Art. Also handy for coring apples, cutting flowers, and usual knife tasks. Classic and useful—nice, huh? From Buffalo Gap Outfitters.

Sew-ciopath Bottle Opener / Keychain ($6)

It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again. (Now that granny seems a little scary, huh?)

Buy here.
From Allegrae.

Transparent Goldfish Hot Water Bottle ($25)

Sick = cold feet. For me, at least. And heating pads are nice, but there's that whole catch-the-house-on-fire problem. So go the old-fashioned route with one of these, but get a clear one, and you won't accidentally blorp hot water all over yourself when it starts to get full. (Also, goldfish are pretty.) From Amazon.

Victorian Inspired Shrug / Wrap ($50)

School's starting, and everybody needs one completely crazy accessory for the new school year. I nominate this one.

Buy here.
From Bonzie.

Handwoven Scarf / Shawl / Wrap ($85)

Great fall colors: gold, understated purple, and deep chocolate brown, in nubbly yarns that will make it hard not to pet your scarf in front of others.

Buy here.
From Las Lopez Las.